So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
What drink are we having for lunch?
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
