i just wanna soil my oats bro
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
