so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Randomize
