What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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