butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
