I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
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