Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
