Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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