Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
you inspire me to be a worse person
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
