i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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