is wine microwaveable?
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Randomize
