there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
