A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Randomize
