just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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