I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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