i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Randomize
