There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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