i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
