doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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