So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
