Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
