oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
