I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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