Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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