he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Randomize
