this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
