When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
