the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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