I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
