if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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