He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
it glows. i had to have it.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
