i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
