Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
