so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
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