That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
