worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
