"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize
