Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
