I love black thongs
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Randomize
