Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
