just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Randomize
