did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
