We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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