seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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