omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
