My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Randomize
