Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
