I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I came so hard my ears popped.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
