the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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