All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
