my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
