Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
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