She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize