She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
